The Ghosts of the Past, Scars of Battle
by queenpearl
Summary: Enterprise is haunted by what she was forced to do in "The Ultimate Computer" and it takes a near crippled Excaliber to get her back to her senses.


_The Infinite Darkness was broken merely by the flashes of light as one ship fired continuously at her former sisters. Though not by her will. Something else was controlling her._ "Lexington!" _She cried in a brief moment of coherence._ "You need to run! I can't hold it back!" "As if you ever ran from danger Enterprise." _Her sister replied. Enterprise screamed as the "thing", the so-called revolutionary M-5 computer, slowly but surely took her own free will away from her. Lexington danced around her, at ease in the infinite darkness known as space. Enterprise was forced to bear witness as her blue phasers fired into her sister's pristine white hull and she was powerless to stop it._ _Her sister screamed in pain as 53 of those under her protection and care were killed and she left crippled, her life support failing. Excelibar was next, circling in and out of Enterprise's vision. But Enterprise wasn't flagship of the mighty Federation fleet for nothing. Her well aimed phasers made their mark and Excelibar was left to float to her death._ "No, Excalibar!"

Enterprise woke from her nightmare, finding herself in the safe confines of Earth's Starship and Shuttle Center, the only place in the galaxy where a starship could actually enjoy her crew's luxury of being on the planet's surface. She took several deep breaths to calm herself. It'd been months since the M-5 incident and Enterprise, hard as she tried, could not shake the lingering guilt that gnawed at her. It was her fault that Lexington lost 53 of her men that day and Excalibar was left a cripple for life. Her spine shattered, she could never move on her own again, relying intently on the efforts of her crew to help her around. Potemkin and Hood had taken damage as well. Why? Why did Enterprise allow this to happen! She should've done something to stop it! She should've...

Enterprise shook her head. The waking world did not allow for such thoughts. After the horrors of her most recent nightmare, she found the waking world to be a relief. Her gaze traveled over the sleeping starships around her. Each a part of her fleet, her family. She'd do anything to protect them, to keep them safe. Unable to find sleep again, Enterprise resolved to play the part of sentry, watching over her beloved ships as they rested. Unknown to her, another ship was also awake. Excalibur had only entered spacedock in the last hour and she was just settling down to sleep when she'd seen Enterprise wake from her nightmare. The flagship had been restless in her berth, twitching and pulling against her mooring lines relentlessly as if they were a force she needed to be free of. Now her blue gaze could be seen, flashing in the darkness and her powerful Constitution frame outlined against the faint lights spacedock provided. The smaller ship sighed. Her leader's guilt was obvious. Excalibur's scans after the attack proved inconclusive though significant damage to her spine was reported. The lack of feeling in her nacelles made the starship resolve she was parallelized. She saw Enterprise turn in her direction and ducked down quickly, hiding herself but there was no need. The flagship had already moved on, looking over Excalibur as if she didn't exist. That was common of her nowadays. Enterprise felt so burdened with guilt that she couldn't bring herself to face the ships she had harmed. It was one thing to stand down an entire Klingon fleet, it was another to injure the ships you cared about, even if it was unintentional and not your fault. Excalibur sighed. Enterprise was destroying herself, doing this and something had to be done. Quietly, so as not to draw attention to herself, she pinged Constitution on a hailing frequency. "Hmm, Excalibur it's the middle of the night." The old ship grumbled. "I am sorry Connie but I require your assistance." Excalibur replied. "With what?" Constitution grumbled. "And it better be good!" "Miss Silver's going down guilt road, you got that?" Excalibur asked. "Yes, I understand." Constitution replied, a hint of sadness in her voice. "Why she must always insist on blaming herself for everything, I'll never know. But why call me, you're the one she really needs to talk to." "It's like I don't exist." Excalibur replied sadly. "Enterprise- when she looks at me and that's very rare now mind you, she gets this dark look in her eyes. She's haunted by what happened. She's awake now, a nightmare apparently. I don't know how long she's been having them for but if my guess is correct she hasn't had a good sleep in days." "I'll be there as soon as I can." Constitution replied. "And your orders to proceed to Starbase 12?" Excalibur asked. "Screw the orders! Starfleet can kiss my nacelles as far as I'm concerned." Constitution sniffed. "Spoken like a true Constitution!" Excalibur grinned. "Runs in the family. Now if I can just get Mrs Stubborn and Stupid to listen." Constitution grumbled. "I suggest you get some rest Excalibur." She said. "You mean you want to go back to sleep?" Excalibur giggled. Consitution's glare could be felt through the radio. "Alright, I'll see you soon." Excalibur sighed and sighed off. She watched Enterprise for a little longer. Even in her exhausted state, the flagship still radiated calm and a strong sense of peace washed over Excalibur. _"May the Ancients be with you Enterprise."_ She thought as she drifted off to sleep.

A week passed and still no sign of Constitution. Excalibur learned that the old ship, despite her bravado, couldn't fight Starfleet Command and was forced to Starbase 12 as ordered as well as receiving a serious reprimand for her behavior. She was now, as the human's would call it, grounded at least for another week. "Interfering spineless arrogant swine!" Excalibur swore, slamming her bow against the nearest support structure. With a rumble, the pilings gave way, collapsing atop the angry starship. Excalibur stood frozen, it wasn't like she could move on her own anyway. "EXCALIBUR!" shouted a voice seconds before a flash of white slammed itself into her side, forcing the smaller starship clear. Her rescue wasn't so lucky, debris covering her. When the dust finally settled, the ship under the rocks was revealed to be... "Enterprise?!" Excalibur gasped. The flagship strained against the weight holding her. "Ugh, it's no use." She groaned at last. "Why did you do that?" Excalibur asked. She had to strain to hear her flagship's raspy reply. "Couldn't let you die, not again..." "It wasn't your fault Enterprise." Excalibur growled harshly. The Constitution merely looked away.

The events of the last six months had prevented Excalibur from examining her leader closely as she tended to avoid Excalibur whenever the younger starship got close. But now, she could see the true toll Enterprise's inner demons were taking on her. Her hull sagged with exhaustion, dark circles laced the undersides of her eyes, the blue orbs themselves significantly darkened. Even her nacelles didn't shine as brightly as they used to. Excalibur almost shuddered as she thought of how the Federations enemies might take advantage of Enterprise's condition if they knew. Enterprise tried again to shove off the debris that landed on her but her strength was failing her. An ominous rumbling noise shook the two starships from their thoughts. "This place has lost its structural integrity." Enterprise murmured. "It'll collapse in a matter of minutes. You need to get everyone out." "What about you?" Excalibur asked. "No time." Enterprise replied. "Get the fleet to safety USS Excalibur, that's an order!" She growled. "I-I understand." Excalibur sighed and limped away on forward impulse, the one thing she still had without a crew on board. Finding a majority of the fleet in the rec room, Excalibur sounded the alarm. "Everyone out, now!" She cried. "This place is on a one way ticket to the ground." "How long do we have?" Excelsior asked. "Minutes. Quickly now move!" Excalibur growled. Her sudden authority was questioned by no one as they left in a hurry, helping others evacuate as well. Excalibur returned to Enterprise finding the flagship in even worse condition than when she'd first found her. The flagship's jaws were parted as she desperately breathed in air. The weight of the materials atop her hull was crushing her. The rumbling grew even more intense. "Excalibur, go!" Enterprise growled. "No, never!" Excalibur whispered. "Go now! Stay away from me, it's not safe!" Enterprise snarled. Excalibur froze, those were the exact same words she'd heard her leader use when M-5 was attempting to control her. "Enterprise..." Excalibur tried again. "NOW, EXCALIBUR!" Enterprise yowled. "You can't ask me to just leave you here. You'll be crushed..." Excalibur whispered. "A small price to pay, for the mistakes I have made." Enterprise murmured. "Enterprise, you weren't at fault. If I know one thing for certain it was this, that ship I fought that day wasn't you! It was something else controlling your body, forcing you to its will. How could anyone fight that?" Enterprise remained silent and Excalibur took it as a sign to continue. "You could've easily have destroyed us, all four of us. Hood, me, Potemkin, and Lexington and yet you didn't. You didn't even injure two of us. How? You were fighting it Enterprise. It wanted to kill us all and it failed. It failed because of you En." Enterprise gazed at her, her blue eyes shimmering with unspilt tears. "Oh Excalibur..." She sighed. "I know, I know..." The younger ship murmured, glad she could share this moment at least. Enterprise sobbed into her hull. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." She wailed. "Shh, just let it out." Excalibur murmured. It took a minute but Enterprise managed to compose herself. Excalibur began removing the debris. Once enough was removed Enterprise slithered out. "We have to get out of here, now!" She growled as the rumbling shook the whole building. "We'll never make it." Excalibur replied. "We have to try. I'm not letting another ship die under my command. Not if I can help it." Enterprise growled. "You can use your impulse engines correct?" She asked. Excalibur nodded. "Good, then follow me." Enterprise growled and raced off, Excalibur followed, the two ships dodging falling debris as the building collapsed behind them. Up ahead the entrance could be seen but debris was quickly swallowing it from view. Excalibur's instincts overtooke her then. "Hold on to me!" She shouted to Enterprise, just as her warp nacelles powered up and on a "cold start" she and the flagship warped away out of the building. It was a few seconds after that Excalibur's engines failed and the two went plummeting towards the surface. The feature known as the Grand Canyon appeared into view. Excalibur and Enterprise rolled down the side several ship lengths before striking the bottom. Each striking the Colorado River with a mighty splash. "Ugh, cold and wet, just what I needed." Enterprise grumbled sarcastically. Excalibur righted herself, racing over to her leader. Cold, what did Enterprise mean by that. Nudging her leader on her side, Excalibur found a deep wound stretching from Engineering down to the beginning of her left warp nacelle. Blue blood coated that side. "En..." Excalibur whispered. "I'm alright." Enterprise rasped, giving a fierce shudder. Her eyes rolled back in her head. "Enterprise!" Excalibur gasped as the Constitution went limp against her. She shoved her leader fiercely. "Enterprise, please respond!" She begged. The starship remained still, Excalibur was unsure if she was even breathing. "Starfleet Command, this is USS Excalibur requesting a medivac!"

Within minutes the shuttles arrived. "Will-will she live?" Excalibur whimpered as Dr. McCoy examined her. "I don't know." He replied. "Pulse is thready, breathing irregular and I'm detecting signs of internal bleeding. I've got to get her to McKinley stat!" "I can carry her." Excalibur volunteered. Very gently, Excalibur lifted her leader onto her back and lifted off the ground, having no need for warp engines. Impulse was more than enough. Excelsior, the CMO of the fleet greeted her on arrival. "Inside, quickly!" She growled, herding Excalibur in. "Set her down, gently." Excelsior ordered as Excalibur gently placed Enterprise in one of the medical berths. She backed off as Excelsior worked. The starship was frantic in her efforts to get Enterprise stabilized. "She's suffering massive internal hemorrhages. The bleeding's advanced too far, I can't stabilize her!" She wailed. The heart monitor went crazy and Excelsior swore. "I'm losing her! Excalibur, I need you to perform CPR." She ordered. Excalibur dipped her head. Enterprise was willing to die for her fleet, the least she could do was save her life. "Come on En!" She growled as she worked. The monitor flat lined as Excelsior returned with a defibrillator. Excalibur backed off. "Clear!" Excelsior growled, striking Enterprise hard. Her metallic hull conducted the electricity nicely throughout her body as she jolted in response. "Again!" A second shock hit. Still nothing. "En, please. Don't leave me, leave us! We need you!" Excalibur begged. Excelsior shocked Enterprise again and this time, a heartbeat was heard. Faint, but steady. Enterprise wheezed as her lungs took in air gratefully. Excelsior quickly got her hooked up to life support. After a few minutes, Enterprise began to stir. "Enterprise, can you hear me?" Excelsior asked. Weakly, Enterprise nodded in answer. "Excalibur?" She rasped. "I'm fine Enterprise" The young starship replied, appearing in her leader's line of sight. "We nearly lost you." "We still might." Excelsior said. "You've still got a large amount of internal and external bleeding. I can't even begin to operate until you regain some strength." Enterprise nodded. "Do what you can, Excelsior." She replied. "I'm not going anywhere." "How can you be so sure?" Excalibur asked. "I saw them." Enterprise replied. "The Ancients, they spoke to me. They said that Death will come for me soon but not today." Excalibur nodded. "Then I'll keep them at their word." She said. The doors opened and Kirk stepped inside. "Enterprise, I was just informed!" He cried, stroking his ships nose. Enterprise gave a weak purr. "I'm fine Jim." She replied. "Don't ever do that again! Even Spock seemed a little worried and Bones was leaping out of his seat when he heard the news." He growled. "I'll be okay, Excelsior here will see to that." She replied, looking at the other starship. Excelsior grunted. "Be that as it may Enterprise but you're still very weak and as your CMO I strongly urge you to rest." She growled. Enterprise looked at her captain. Kirk shrugged. "For once, I agree." He said. "Traitor." Enterprise grumbled though the light in her eyes suggested she was only teasing. He patted her nose affectionately. "You behave yourself for the doctor and I'll be good on my next checkup alright?" He asked. "It's a deal." Enterprise agreed. "That's my girl." He purred.

Enterprise rested her head down on the dock as Kirk continued stroking her. Excalibur also brushed her hull against her flagships. "We're all here for you now Enterprise." She murmured. Enterprise murmured a quiet thanks before drifting off to sleep and this time, she had no nightmares.


End file.
